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How Has "Hoping" Worked For You? Remember being a kid and the dreaded moment when you were told you were being divided into teams, through the process of “being picked”. Remember the moment of doubt...please don’t let me get picked last...please don’t let me get picked last! Or remember the school dance, where you hoped the girl or guy you liked, would come over and ask you to dance, so that the whole evening could be made worthwhile? “Being picked” can be a pretty special thing. As soon as you are picked for something it tells you someone else thinks you are okay. Depending on the situation, getting picked could mean: you are attractive, you are smart, you are capable, you are popular, you are funny, you are.... “Being picked”, for a moment can feel pretty good. After all it strokes our egos (who doesn’t like to have that every once in a while), although what many people fail to miss is what happens in between...”the process of hoping”. “Hoping” sounds good, but it doesn’t necessarily do much for you. Hoping is about being safe. You never have to venture out to far. You never have to set yourself up to fail. You are hoping to get the next promotion or hoping that someone will recognize you in the shadows. Here is the cruel thing... people who are waiting around “hoping to be picked”, are generally not the ones being picked. You will have heard “hoping” before: “How did he get that promotion?”, “How did she meet that guy?”, “How did they select her for that project?”, “Why didn’t I get a raise?” This is what “hoping” sounds like. "Hoping" is the process of trying to figure out why someone else was picked over you and it leads you to make up all kinds of excuses about yourself. Remember back as a kid, when you weren’t picked for the team, you told yourself, you weren’t fast enough, or popular enough, or smart enough and before long you started to believe it. You started believing your own stories and whether you realize it or not, those excuses became your own self fulfilling prophecies. You told yourself, you couldn’t run fast enough and you stopped running. You told yourself, you weren’t smart enough and you stopped wanting to learn. All hoping is, is hoping someone will see something different in you than what you already believe of yourself. So my question to you is, “Could that someone be you?” To “be picked” you need to be willing to pick you first. This means stop waiting. Tell the people around you what you want. If you want to be a manager, then tell someone who can help you to develop to be one. If you want to date someone, ask them. If you want to work on a project, then tell your boss. I know sometimes, hearing “no” can be hard, however if you are waiting and hoping to “be picked”, then isn’t it as good as being told “no” anyway. Recognize, the “hoping” is already kicking you in the ass. It is just that until now, you might not have realized it. What if you picked you? My guess is if you did....more people would pick you too!!
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