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Relationships are the core of Life, which is only possible because of relationships. We enter them at so many levels and yet how many of us have been effectively educated in conducting successful fulfilling relationships. They can be a challenge and this challenge can exist at two levels: A relationship can be a challenge in and of itself. Other life challenges, such as with work, may be complicated by disharmonious relationships. All these challenges are amplified in significant or intimate relationships because you have people with different backgrounds, different experiences, different beliefs and different patterns trying to come together and create a united life. It is inevitable there are going to be some challenges and flash points. But that is not the problem. The real challenge is the way you approach and deal with the differences that start to show up. This is where it gets interesting because those involved will also have different communication styles, different ways of resolving issues, different needs and expectations, and different fears. And all of these will have arisen from their earlier conditioning and relationship experiences. In this light there is no such thing as a new relationship. From the very beginning it is influenced by all the history that both sides bring into it. So a gap emerges between your assumptions and expectations, and the reality that you live with every day. The temptation is to try and force the reality to conform to the expectation or the image you carry of how it “should” be. The forcing, and its accompanying patterns, is one of the major causes of relationship stress and conflict, and technical solutions will do nothing to truly resolve it. The key to creating real and lasting transformation is to become conscious of what you are bringing into your relationships, including your conditioning, the beliefs and expectations you hold, your automatic patterns, your emotions, and especially your levels of self love and self worth. Transforming your relationships begins with transforming yourself. At least 80% of communication is unconscious and nonverbal and is made up of the sum total of energy you radiate. When you grow and transform yourself, and then change your patterns, you dramatically change that 80%, and this brings a whole new possibility into the relationship. If you feel caught in a difficult relationship then rest assured you can achieve all of the following, and more Understand your automatic patterns and learn how to modify them. Grow your levels of self love and self worth. Expose the relationship myths that so many get stuck in. Develop true authenticity in your relationships. Recognise the higher potential and possibility of your relationships. Achieve wholeness and integration through embracing your shadow. Learn to communicate clearly and powerfully, yet lovingly. Sustain passion and delight through the whole relationship. Learn to deal with emotions harmoniously and effectively. Apply sound principles for keeping your heart open. Experience the miraculous power of forgiveness and reconciliation. The clear and simple message is that relationships can sizzle and sparkle. There will probably always be challenges in relationships but by becoming conscious and growing as a person then you give yourself the best guarantee that those challenges will become an invitation to grow, expand and be fulfilled rather than degenerating into a battleground. The highest possibilities of relationships enable us to grow in love and thereby fulfill our full potential. Clement McGrath brings 30 years of coaching and mentoring experience and a wealth of knowledge to his work. Clement has worked in a variety of roles that have all involved supporting people to reach their full potential and live the life of their dreams. These include his own private practice, youth work in a non-profit organisation, teaching life skills to those with intellectual disabilities, being a contracted provider to a major government department, and director of Life Coach Associates since 2001. After facilitating Life Coach Associates’ coach training program for 10 years, he recently stepped aside from that position to create a variety of programmes that are more accessible to a wider audience. Besides Relationship Rescue, Clem offers programmes on “Living Your Extraordinary Life,” “Mastering Your Energy,” “Stress Mastery,” and “Awakening to Infinity.” He is available for private consultations and public speaking, and can create customised programmes to address the specific needs of groups and organisations. Clement lives in Christchurch, New Zealand with his partner Heather Fletcher. Contacts for Clement are: www.lifecoachassociates.co.nz http://www.facebook.com/lifecoachassociates clem@lifecoachassociates.co.nz Phone: 0064 3 355 2297 Mobile: 0064 272 033 694
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