Rejection, at its worst, is like a knife cutting through us. Even if our reaction is moderate, it can put real strain on us. But there's hope. You can deal with rejection in a simple and effective way, painlessly, in privacy at your computer or smart phone. We all deal with rejection. Who among us has not felt the slap of being spurned by a lover, of dumped by friends, of being fired, of losing an account in our job; of simply not being wanted anymore. Your reaction to rejection can blind you to the reality around you. You simply can't see a way out because the pain hurts too much to think rationally. Or maybe there's not any way out. As difficult as it is, we may have to just accept it; but we don't have to let it control us. People try to help. We reject them by thinking if they would just leave you alone! It's something that I have to work out myself. And then the pity party starts. If the rejection is intense enough, it can lead to masking behaviors such as drinking or drugs. Intellectually, you know those things are destructive but at least you don't feel the pain when you're under the influence. Very often such thoughts occur over and over again without any real-time provocation. The thoughts are an emotional recollection, just a memory, of a past painful event - sometimes many years in the past. When these memories pop into your mind as negative thoughts; and we mentally chew or ruminate on them; it can become just like the original rejection all over again. But, it's a thought. It's not happening all over again in most cases - it's a memory. The solution is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control the negative thinking that results in recurring rejection is "simply choose not to think about it." When a negative thought that you know leads to rejection pops into your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, "I will not think about that." Do it again if the idea pops up again. Did I hear somebody say, "That's easier said than done." Not really. You were made with an innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you to feel rejected, don't think that thought. It's your choice. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It's amazing how quickly this can happen. Furthermore, you have a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like dwelling on thoughts about rejection. The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It's this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of rejection. At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking thoughts about rejection because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts. Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind control your "rejection" thinking for you before you even think about it. Resources you can use Help someone you love deal with rejection. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s013 You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including dealing with rejection. I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much with your rejection as it helped me with my anger problem. Rod Peeks
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