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All churches provide Christian marriage counselling for couples before and during their marriages in understanding each other and God better. If you ask any couple out there, they will most probably tell you that they already know about each other even though they do not. Even if they have problems, they will not reveal unless they choose to quarrel in public. The truth is not everyone of us are born to be psychologists or have parents who either one or both specializes in that field. Though it is not compulsory for us to know everything, it is still compulsory for us – especially men – to know basic psychology. Such as understanding and fulfilling your spouse’s needs without being asked verbally time and again. If you are Christians and are planning to marry or already married, you certainly have an advantage over non-Christians. Because as church members, you already have network of people willing to help you since they consider you as part of God’s family. Cell members, leaders and pastors are usually the ones most couples will confide their problems to. Having said that, Christian marriage counselling is required for 3 core problems as in: 1. General problems such as lack of communication and understanding as they may not adjust to each other’s lifestyle and schedule. 2. Personal and unspoken problems happening within a marriage and resulting in fear, insecurity etc. Such as lack of money. 3. Violation of Christian values like not being honest with spouse and having an affair with someone else. These are some if not all the problems most couples face. If they are not being resolved, they can potentially destroy their marriages and even the lifes of their children if they have any. But since most Christians attend cell and church meetings regularly on weekdays and weekends, those problems can be solved if they open up to God and their church network and do exactly what they are told to do. From the beginning, marriage is God’s plan for his creation of Adam and Eve. It is often our temptation – as in the case of Eve – that allows Satan to enter our lives and conquer our desires. This is even more apparent in the 21st century due to the increase in divorce rates. That brings me to the next question: What do you hope to get from marriage? In the olden days, they marry to please their parents since their parents are the ones who arrange marriages. In the modern days now, they want to fulfil their sexual desires or use marriages as an excuse to cover any pregnancy due to their frequent sex. Christian or not, this still happens. Recent statistics have shown that girls as young as 12 already lose their virginity and those who reached 20 treat marriage casually and have no regrets of divorcing if they get fed up with their spouses. In other words, love is no longer their priority even if they claim it is. It is curiosity, sex drive and excuse to cover any pregnancy issues that drives them to marry as their only choice. This is so that when the pregnancy issues arise that they claim these happen after marriage which unfortunately is not the case most of the time. It is only after 1 or 2 years that cracks begin to appear unless they are financially independent and not having any problems with money and even themselves. Even with Christian counselling, not all problems can be eliminated at one go. If the couple is not honest with each other and the people around them, those problems will still be there and grew like viruses. Addiction, affairs, lack of money and incompatibility in adjusting to each other’s lifestyles and schedules are usually what result in marriage breakdown. The way I see it, only the couple themselves can solve those problems if they want to. They can pray together not with their cell or church members but just by themselves so that their minds will be clearer and more focused on what God wants them to do.
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