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If you are facing problems in your marriage and unable to settle your conflict with your spouse, you definitely need help. Preferably from marriage counsellor. The only question is: Does marriage counselling really work? Although several studies have shown that marriage counselling may not be totally effective, studies have shown that most couples do benefit by realizing a few things that they should but never know about each other even though they think they know. Because of this, they rarely go to marriage counselling until their marriage is on the rocks or even verge of divorce. Before deciding whether or not, they will seek advice from counsellors first. Sometimes 2 counsellors – a man and a woman are required to meet and talk to each of them one to one since men think differently from women. Marriage counselling requires a certain amount of public relation or PR skills and psychological in understanding others’ perspective apart from just paper qualifications. With that being said, here is what you will be learning from marriage counselling. 1. Tactful Communication And Understanding Though it is good to communicate and listen to your spouse, these two skills may not be enough. You need to be tactful as well. Apart from hearing what she says, you need to be able to read his or her body language and expressions. Failure to do so will be very be hard to see things from his or her perspective. You also need to sense between the lines of sentences. That way, you will be able to express your needs clearly and openly without being emotional and offensive to your spouse. 2. Learning To Work With Unresolved Issues Unresolved issues are what cripples marriages. They no longer find companionship with each other meaningful. They no longer bother to remember and celebrate their wedding anniversaries or go for vacations together like their honeymoon. Getting your feelings out in the open with the help of a trained professional may be all you need. You may find that your partner is more than willing to work together to solve problems in the marriage. If not or your spouse is unwilling to forgive you no matter what, you are free to divorce without feeling guilty because you have given your best. 3. Greater Understanding Of What Your Spouse Really Wants. Remember the time when you are facing a great problem and badly need help. Though there are 2 persons offering help, who do you ultimately turn to? The one who tells you what he think is best for you or the one who asks and willing to listen to you before recommending what is best for you based on what you say. Without a shadow of a doubt, you will definitely listen to the second person right? Especially since you can feel that this person is genuinely interested and concerned about your well-being. The same concept applies to marriage. Though it is easy to say you should treat your spouse the way you want to be treated, not everyone of us are born with the gift of understanding without being told by that person. In order to develop and master that skill, you definitely need marriage counselling. If you are a Christian, you should consult with your cell leaders or pastors. In a nutshell, marriage counselling does really work if you know how to apply the fundamentals correctly. But before that, you need to make sure the counsellors themselves are the right people to get advice from. Check their credentials and if they have websites, see if there are positive testimonials from couples in text or videos.
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