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“Criticism and finding fault are NOT spiritual gifts.” Some people don’t realize they have a negative personality and others know they do but don’t know how to stop. Negative behaviors such as pessimism, perfectionism, cynicism, criticism, whining, and attacking can push away your spouse. If you seem to be in a bad mood most of the time, dwelling on past hurts or painful memories, you may be a negative person. People with negative personalities may be critical of everyone, or for the most part look at incidents and events from a negative perspective….they don’t usually find the good in a situation at first response or even at all. Ask yourself these questions: do you find yourself to quickly say no or rarely say yes to request from your spouse, kids or family? If someone says Good Morning, do you think to yourself what’s so good about it? Do you demand things be done a particular way, but no matter how good it’s done….it’s not good enough for you? If you find yourself responding yes to most of what I’ve mentioned thus far, then your negative personality is probably impacting your marriage in more ways then you know. When we criticize, it really isn’t to help the other person; it’s to make ourselves feel better or more important. We take little things that bug us about another person, and blow it out of proportion. We exaggerate their faults while excusing or ignoring our own shortfalls. But God tells us that if we judge others, we will be judged and that how we treat others is how we will end up being treated. (Matthew 7:1-2) This constant negative behavior can eventually tear down any marriage or relationship and the way to combat it is prayer and honest self-evaluation. Ask God to help you be aware of areas you need to improve, He will speak to you through His Word as you read it. Then stay in contact with positive people and when you feel a negative response entering your mind, question it and force yourself to think of something positive instead. Try doing something each day that makes you smile, whether it’s listening to music or doing a hobby you like. Be sure to get enough sleep, exercise and eat healthy foods. Through all of these ways, you will discover what God desires from you and eventually you will be less likely to criticize others. Jewell R Powell, “The Marriage Coach”© Grace Publishing, Inc. For more information visit us at: For more information visit us as Marriage101.us
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