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A. Agreement. It is essential to find agreement on the many details of your life. Of course, there are rare occasions when you must agree to disagree on minor subjects. B. Back Up. Back each other up in your goals and endeavors. How can we be successful in our careers when our own spouse does not support us and believe in us? C. Compliment. Paying each other compliments will not only make your spouse feel better about themselves, but it will remind you of the things you appreciate about them. It can spice things up for both of you. D. Dignity. Treat each other with dignity. Respect differences and say nice things. Don’t talk your partner down, especially in front of other people. E. Energy. Put some energy into your relationship. Show each other that you care by taking the time and effort that brings you closer to each other. Send an e-card (they’re free). F. Forgiveness. At some point, we will all make mistakes. When your spouse lets you down, forgive and move on. G. Generosity. Show each other generosity. The tighter your finances are, the harder it is to be generous with each other financially. But being generous with your time, money, and any other resources will pay off in the long run. H. Happiness. We can’t expect to be happy all of the time. Our society advocates constant euphoria, but in the real world we may have days when we are merely content, or accepting. Embrace each day you have together I. Initiative. Don’t wait for your spouse to initiate fun, dates, communication, or romance. You can find ways to initiate these things, even if it doesn’t come naturally for you. You can surprise your spouse with a room full of fragrant candles, or a picnic on the living room floor. J. Journey. Marriage is a journey not a destination. As you face the twists and turns in the road, and repair the tire blow outs, remain loyal to each other and remember that through the journey, you are in this together. K. Kiss. Did you kiss a lot more when you were dating? Is kissing becoming a lost art in your marriage? Try it, you’ll like it! L. Love. Love is more than infatuation. Remember 1Corinthians 13:4 through 13. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. …And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Let that scripture be your guide when you are about to do the opposite. M. Money management. You are in a partnership with your spouse. You can’t have a successful partnership without agreeing on proper money management. Many divorces stem from financial problems. You can avoid this with clear communication and good budgeting. N. Negotiation. Negotiation may sound like a word used in hostile situations. Let’s face it, sometimes we get hostile in our marriages. Therefore, we can agree to disagree or we can see the situation from the other’s viewpoint. Find the solution. All negotiations should end with a win-win result. O. Opportunity. Look at life’s opportunities together in prayer and hope. By moving toward your positive opportunities, you will keep yourselves and your relationship fresh and lively. P. Parenting. Parenting can put a strain on a marriage, even though it also brings a great deal of joy. No matter how busy you are with the children, remember who your life partner is and enjoy each other as the kids get older. Remember, they will leave but you and your spouse must continue your love affair during and after they are gone. Q. Quirks. We all have quirks. When you were dating, you probably didn’t let them show as much as you do now! We need to accept some of our spouse’s eccentricities and we can expect them to accept ours. So the next time they clip their fingernails in the living room, get over it. Hopefully the next time you tell the same story for the one hundredth time, your spouse will grin and bear it. R. Respect. Respect each other and those things that are important to each one. S. Sensitivity. So often we are sensitive to ourselves and not to those around us. We must cultivate sensitivity for our spouse. When they come home, notice their bearing and the look on their face. Ask how their day was. Learn to read their needs. T. Tenacity. Marriage is for the long haul. Tenacity is required to hang tough through good and bad times, temptation, and change. U. Understanding. The more time you spend with your spouse, the more you will understand each other. As you grow in Christ, your thoughts will become entwined and understanding will grow. V. Value. Have you ever known a person who values an item until they buy it, and then it loses its value in their eyes? Then they are looking around for their next purchase. Don’t forget the value of your spouse. You sought them out and married them. Now revel in the relationship without taking them for granted and looking around for another conquest. W. Watch your words. Words are power. Watch what comes out of your mouth and make sure they are pleasing to your spouse but especially to God. X. X – chromosome. Okay, X was a tough one to work with, but I do have a point. The X and Y chromosomes make up gender. Acknowledge that you are different and have different needs. Instead of fighting those differences, use them to complete each other. Y. Young at heart. Keep each other young at heart with love, laughter, hope and support. By providing each other with a peaceful home and hopeful future, you add to your youth and health. Z. Zoo! Sometimes a household can resemble a zoo. Go with the flow and enjoy the presence of each other and the family. Commit to family night (i.e. watch a movie, play games, etc). Family comes first! © 2010 by Jewell R. Powell, author of award winning book “Marriage 101: Building a Life Together by Faith.” Visit us at www.marriage101.us
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