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Do you have trouble saying “no” without having guilty feelings? It's not just you, in reality even many naturally assertive men and women frequently find themselves saying “yes” when they really mean to say “no”. Naturally, there can be some cases that you don't get to decide, for example when your boss requests that you do something and its part of your job responsibilities. On the other hand, there are several occasions whereby we can easily say “no” without any facing terrible consequences but we say “yes” regardless. Why do we do that? Why It’s So Challenging To Say "No" The straightforward reply to why it’s so hard for quite a few people to say “no” is that it makes them experience guilt. These guilty feelings often come from inaccurate attitudes about saying “no”, for example: - Saying “no” is rude - Saying “no” is selfish - Saying “no” is cruel - Saying “no” will induce people to not like me - My needs aren’t as significant as somebody else's needs Observe that each of these values are geared towards making others happy and being regarded well by folks. Simply put, you’re rendering somebody else the right to manipulate your decisions as opposed to taking responsibility for your actions. A Simple Method To Say No Without Feeling Obligated If you would like to have the power to say no without guilty emotions, then you’ll need to substitute these values with more helpful ones, for example: - Just like people possess the right to ask, you've the right to turn them down - When you say “no”, you’re turning down the request as opposed to the person - Most people are understanding enough to accept a “no” reply - Your wishes are just as significant as other people's preferences Needless to say, you’re not going to successfully transform your values instantly. Exchanging those old beliefs with these new ones normally takes time, but the key is to keep applying them. The Art Of Saying "No" In A Nutshell Naturally, even with the best attitudes about saying “no” It's possible for it to be tricky to assert it when the situation crops up. Here are several helpful tips that will make it not as difficult you to decline a request without too much trouble: 1. Keep it short and sweet Whenever you’re saying “no” to a request, it’s wise to be straight to the point about it and keep it brief. You don’t need to give a lengthy rationalization to back it up. 2. Be polite about it You'll get the refusal across with a minimal fuss by being polite about it, e.g. you could say “Thank you for asking, but...” 3. Don’t say sorry or make justifications When you’re refusing a request, you don’t need to say sorry or offer excuses to explain yourself. You have every right to say "no" without giving an explanation for it. 4. Take responsibility for it Try to avoid saying “I can’t” or pointing to circumstances outside of your control for your saying "no". Make it clear that it’s your choice instead. 5. Accept the results In certain situations, somebody you are refusing to may be temporarily displeased with you but you have got to accept that. It’s preferable to poisoning the relationship with bitterness over the long haul. All in all, learning how to decline a request without feeling guilty can be a struggle. Applying these principles of saying “no” can really help with making it easier, but if all else fails I would highly recommend registering yourself in a structured assertiveness training program. And finally, if you want to read more about assertiveness training, go right to AssertivenessTrainingAcademy.com. In addition, you can acquire quality info on How to be assertive without being aggressive simply by clicking the link.
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