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Your marriage is over...now what? After allowing a sufficient amount of time to deal with the emotional fallout after divorce, it is time to move forward and begin a new journey into the land of dating and relationships once again. But, what is a sufficient amount of time? How do you find the strength to let someone into your life when you've shared so much for so many years then lost it? No two people are ever the same, no two situations are ever the same and the same rule applies to divorce. There is no universal solution when we all unique and our situations are unique, but there are some general tips to dating and love after divorce. A divorce changes far more than your family dynamic, it will test your closest friendships as well. Though they will all deny it, your friends have all taken sides, passed judgement and gone to one side or the other..it cannot be avoided. Even if your best friend is still your best friend the relationship itself will have changed...and may continue to change now that you have a new found freedom. Perhaps you have a single friend of the opposite sex you've always admired. If dating them is not an option perhaps they can introduce you to the world of being single. You never know they may even have a single friend that is just right for your first date post divorce. The important thing is to get out and meet people. Soon, you will have a whole new circle of friends and potential dates. Start living your life again...love the freedom being single has brought you. Get a new hair cut or a cute new outfit to reward your rebirth. If you are now single with children, make sure that they have emotionally dealt with the divorce situation before you shift into dating gear. Dating is an awareness process, so be sure to go on a few dates and know for certain this is someone you want to spend time with before introducing them to your kids... Screening your dates and limiting your childrens exposure to them until you are certain you will commit yourself to taking the relationship to another level will make their transition to your new life easier. They have had enough upheaval. However, always be honest with your dates about your family and your commitment to them. Hiding the facts is no way to ensure a second date. Insecurities in yourself may surface after a divorce and this is quite normal. Your partner got your very best years and now no longer wants you. You might in a weak moment wonder if someone else will ever want you. Part of the healing process is knowing that we are not judged by the state of a marriage or the opinion of one man. Things just didn't work out the way you planned..don't let it define an entire gender. Hopefully you will take your healing past this point before you think about dating or love after divorce. If not, it may not have much of a chance for survival. People need to be whole individuals before they bring someone else into their life...because to find a great partner you need to first be a great partner. Smile as much as you can, even if you have to fake it at first. Soon, those fake smiles will turn into the real thing. One of the greatest challenges post divorce, or for that matter dealing with dating in general, is the first date. If you can make it through that very first date with confidence knowing you are the best date this person could ever be out with you are far down road of recovery. Take it slowly, and realize that dating, especially after a divorce is about learning and growing. There will be failures. You might get your heart bruised, maybe even broken a time or two before you get it right. But one lesson that your divorce should have taught you is this: you are far stronger than you ever thought possible and you will get through this too, better, stronger and wiser on the other side. Dating and Love after divorce are definitely yours for the taking.
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