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Gateway to Adulthood by Adfar Shah
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Gateway to Adulthood |
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Family & Parenting,Writing
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Adolescence is the second decade of life; the period of transition between childhood and adulthood. Usually 10 to 19 year are considered an adolescent. This is a crucial period of life. Anxieties, frustration, identity crises, looking out for support, indecisiveness, dependency needs and independence are associated with this period. Adolescents lack maturity and experience. Their mind is pure, pious and free from all wickedness. But at the same time, they are not aware of what is proper and what is improper. They have little experience of differentiating between right and wrong. When they become excited or emotional, they may take a detrimental step. Sometimes they cannot choose between two options or among several options. With the result, a conflict is created in their mind. It is here that they need guidance from parents and/or teachers. The teachers play an important role in the lives of adolescent boys and girls. The adolescents are capable of handling problems related to schooling, college life, relationships, health, physiological changes, choice of subjects and their complexes. Sometimes, however, these become problems for them- especially when decision-making is involved. If proper care and counseling is not provided at this stage, they may take a wrong path. If the parents will not immediately react to their wrong activity in a right manner, their child will not be able to come back on a right track. Youngsters land into problems more often than not and, usually, they are not experienced enough to handle certain situations with a calm head. A small problem may look fatal to them and they can go to any extreme to get rid of the problem- from suicide to murder. But if youth were to consult a parent or a teacher whenever they face a problem, they would find a positive solution. It is the responsibility of the parents to take care of their children, look into their problems. They should recognize the signs of depression and any kind of deviation in the behaviour of their child. Proper communication is necessary between the parents and children. All of us like to discuss our problems, dreams, wishes, fears, hopes, desires, doubts, and aspirations with people who we trust and with whom we have rapport. The younger ones too want to discuss but they have inhibitions. They need a patient and sympathetic listener. They get emotional release and insights from the elders. Emotional needs fostered in the early inter personal relations in the family tend to motivate the individual to seek their satisfaction through activities. The family provides the earliest adult role models with whom the adolescent may identify or whom he may reject. The family as a mediator of culture, religion, attitudes and values influences the overall development of the child. It is the family that is instrumental in helping the child’s attitudes and values. Similarly, work values learnt in the family can have a far reaching effect on vocational choice and adjustment. Emotional maturity in the family also has a subtle influence on the child. Studies have proved that around one in five adolescents do pass through a more prolonged phase of emotional difficulties and one in ten adolescents suffer from mental illness. Another study has proved that 13% of young people had an anxiety disorder in a year. They do not eat properly during this period and are anorexic. Suicide rates in young people have increased dramatically. The adolescent suicidal behavior does not result from a clear intent to kill oneself. Rather it is best understood as a maladaptive reaction to the distress, negative self-evaluation and high levels of interpersonal conflicts that commonly accompany depression. The relationship with the parents should be friendly. Lot of support should be provided by friends and environment. Awareness campaign for the parents, teachers, young volunteers and peers should be conducted on issues such as ‘Normal Growth Patterns’, ‘Development’, ‘Needs of Adolescents and Signs of Behavioral Problems’. The warning signs of the mental and psychological problems should also be a part of health education. Do not humiliate your child in front of others. Appreciate and acknowledge the abilities and strengths of your child. Make them understand that mistakes are a part of learning. Inferiority complex is a big obstacle in the way of a child while he or she is in school or college. Explain to the child that poverty, beauty, handicap, colour and intelligence are God-given. There is no need to feel depressed about these issues. We must listen to the concerns of the young people. We must clear their doubts. The problems of the young boys and girls should be recognised early and treated without delay. Self-help groups may be made where children can interact with each other on their personal difficulties and issues. Within the school, college, home and community, proper understanding and psychological support is more important than punishment, which leads to stigma, guilt and isolation only. Creation of healthy and peaceful environment is very important to meet the challenge. The adolescents in essence should become agents of change for their own health education, self-development and take new challenges and then meet them. The desire to go abroad for pursuing higher education has become a trend nowadays. Every parent wants the best education for their child. When children meet a foreign-educated person, they too get influenced by their knowledge, and personality . It’s okay to dream or desire something, but we must find a way that suits our resources and capabilities. Parents usually end up taking loans or selling out property to sponsor their child’s education abroad. So, the children must think and decide whether it’s all worth it or not. They must explore the opportunities for learning in their own country and if they genuinely feel that there’s a need of pursuing their degree abroad they can go for it and work very hard to make it all count. Children must not compel their parents to send them abroad, especially when their parents can’t afford it. They must take a decision after thorough introspection and then stick to it. The fast changing life situations or turning points in career or education are usually stressful situations for adolescent boys and girls. They’re too immature to solve conflicts that arise out of these situations. This inability leads to confusion, internalization, delusions and fantasies. They suppress certain aspects of their personality and use denial. These unresolved problems and unfulfilled desires lead to emotional and psychological problems. This is the result of inadequate interpersonal relationships among their family members. Fear and anxieties too play an important role in the mental health of an adolescent. Like physical health their mental health is very important. Emotional and behavioral difficulties that would elicit concern at other times in life have been viewed as part of growing up with an assumption that the adaptation of adult social roles in the early twenties would bring emotional control and maturity. Parents have to play a great role in shaping the future of the children. Children absorb the personality of their parents and their growth and development is affected by the socio-economic status of their family. Sometimes they may pick up the wrong models. During adolescence they may harm themselves more than anybody else. During this period they may become victims of substance abuse, attempted suicide, crime and violence. Their inability to cope with life’s problems and pressures, or rather their choice of wrong coping mechanisms has led to many problems. The high performance of the students in colleges and schools has been attributed to age at entry to school, the environment in which growth and development has taken place, participation in co-curricular activities, physical health, personality, emotional maturity, parental support,and support of teachers. Remember life is beautiful and precious. We only live once. Try to help others and live happily. Set a good example for others. The most important thing in your life is to have confidence. If we lose confidence, we cannot achieve anything in our life. (Adfar Shah is the Doctoral Scholar at JMI,New Delhi.)
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adolescence, Youth, Juvenile Tendencies, Child hhod, troubled parenting, broken families.,
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