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The Piper Plays, You Dance . . . Or Do You? by Connie H. Deutsch Although I borrowed the idea for the title of this article from the story of the "Pied Piper of Hamelin," the concept ends there. In the folk story, the piper plays a beguiling tune, dancing in the streets and leading the children out of Hamelin to their death, as an act of revenge for the townspeople reneging on their agreement to pay him for ridding the town of its rats. In this article, I am thinking of a different kind of injustice associated with dancing. It seems that if you are attending a dance party for the first time, no one wants to ask you to dance until they see you dancing with someone else first. The way it was explained to me was that the good dancers don't want to risk their reputation by dancing with someone who makes them look bad. They also don't want to waste their time on a beginner. When I suggested that they ask a beginner to dance and train them to do it correctly, I was told that it is a waste of time because the following week, seeing that the person could now dance well enough, their partner was now dancing with everyone but them. I remember when dances were just that. People went to these events to dance, to let their hair down and have fun. They didn't have to be pretty or handsome or even dance particularly well. There was a bit of unself-consciousness that doesn't seem to exist today. Nowadays, there is so much snobbery and fear that they might look foolish that it's amazing that anyone can relax and enjoy themselves. What is even more amazing is that people seem to think if they accept a dance or ask for a dance that this is a prelude to a relationship. I'm told they don't want the other person to get the wrong idea so they are very selective in their dance partners. They think nothing of refusing a dance for the dumbest of reasons and seem to think that five minutes of their time dancing with someone who might not make them look good on the dance floor, is reason enough to refuse them. It seems ridiculous that a person can't spare five minutes to dance with someone who might not be a good dancer. It's appalling to think that nowadays there are so many egotists that a dance, that takes less time to execute than the act of brushing one's teeth, is such a sacrifice that people's feelings have to be hurt because they might not dance well enough to showcase their partner's wonderful abilities. The seventeen hundreds and eighteen hundreds may not have had the kind of lifestyle that I would find appealing today but ladies and gentlemen in those days were trained to be gracious. The men, usually by their mother's prompting, would ask a plain-looking woman to dance. The women, trained by their mothers and by society, would not hurt a gentleman's feelings by refusing a dance unless that man had committed an egregious impropriety (egregious by the standards of that era). I find it unacceptable that people today are so cavalier about the feelings of others that they ignore the simple rules of courtesy that common decency dictate. When people think nothing of hurting someone just because that person doesn't measure up to his or her standards, that kind of boorish behavior is unacceptable in any era, in any society. It is an injustice, an act of mean- spiritedness to make someone feel unworthy, not too dissimilar to the actions of the townspeople in the "Pied Piper of Hamelin". . . so, when the piper plays, make sure you dance. Connie H. Deutsch is an internationally known business consultant and personal advisor who has a keen understanding of human nature and is a natural problem-solver. She is known throughout the world for helping clients find solutions to problems that are often complex and systemic in nature and part of a corporation's culture or an individual's pattern of behavior. Connie has hosted her own weekly radio show, been a weekly guest on a morning radio show, done guest spots on radio shows around the country, and appeared as a guest on a cable television show. Connie wrote a weekly newspaper Advice Column for sixteen years and has been invited to speak at local colleges and given lectures around the country. She also wrote the scripts for a weekly financial show on cable television. Connie is the author of the book, "Whispers of the Soul" and is the co-author of an E-book, "Getting Rich While the Rest of the World Falls Apart" which is being offered as a free download on her website. She has also written and produced two CDs on Meditation and Relationships and has done coaching on customer service and employee relationships. Her website is: http://www.conniehdeutsch.com
Related Articles -
Dance, Pied Piper, Injustices, Graciousness, Hurting Someone, Make Someone Feel Unworthy, Society, Gentlemen, Ladies, Partner, Dance Floor,
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