There Is Nothing Wrong With You

My understanding is that the meaning of life is tied to a person’s personal growth and spiritual evolution. Humans (as spiritual beings) make use of physical reality (life) as a testing ground for challenging themselves to improve various aspects of their character. I call it the “pursuit of perfection.” I say this because human spirits are engaged in a timeless journey to perfect their character. The truth is we will never reach this illusory “ultimate” state of perfection. That is because “the present is always perfect”. Our reality is constantly changing, and us with it, therefore, the perfection we seek is found in the “change” itself.

For the past two years, I have been engaging in an inner self-exploration. In doing so, I have come to know myself and what drives my ego. This difficult process has helped me to define my character. One important revelation that came to me is that there is nothing a person can do persuade me to violate my integrity . . . if I choose to not participate. I am not motivated by wealth, sex, or any other worldly pleasure. I don't consider myself a saint. That couldn't be further from the truth. It’s just that I have allowed other people to influence my behavior in the past. I now understand that it’s my choice. I learned this lesson by taking responsibility for my experiences. By doing this, I have taken control of my future.

In establishing my integrity, I took a stand against the negative influences that have continuously challenged me in this life. However, I mistakenly believed I had filled in all of my holes. It created a false sense of security in me. I realized that I had overlooked one obvious gaping wound. It had to do with my perception of the world and the people in it.

My twenty year career as a “professional problem-solver (investigator), forced me to become intimately familiar with the darker side of life. I witnessed the terrible ways in which humans mistreat each other in their personal relationships. This experience contributed to my cynical attitude towards humanity. I accepted the “enemy’s” suggestion that humanity is “fundamentally flawed”. When I speak of the enemy, I am referring to any suggestion we accept that adversely affects our view of the world. As the saying goes - we are our own worst enemy.

I realized that I was only hurting myself by accepting the false belief that people are out to intentionally harm each other on such a grand scale. I understand that my personal beliefs create the reality I am experiencing. I do not want to experience a reality like that. The truth is there is nothing wrong with any of us. I’m going to add some confusion to the metaphysical philosophy concerning “perfection”.

I hear people say “I am not perfect. I am only human.” I disagree. I am willing to make a bold statement that we are all perfect. We are perfect in the moment. By stating that we are imperfect, we perpetuate the myth that there is an ideal condition a person must reach in order to be acceptable to ourselves and society. As a society, we attempt to define this perfect state. We engage in an exchange of ideas to create an image of how we believe our fellow humans should look, feel, and behave. We make dangerous judgments about ourselves and others. We create false perceptions about ourselves and our place in the world. This needs to stop.

These false beliefs only serve to hurt us. Negative emotions create internal conflicts in us. Experienced life coach professionals call them “limiting beliefs”. These are the kind of beliefs that lead people to believe that there is only one right way to live. We communicate these false beliefs to each other in our conversations. They are called opinions. Sometimes we turn them into ideologies. We pass laws to enforce these ideologies. We will even murder our fellow humans who disagree with us to defend them. This kind of thinking is dangerous to our health. It destroys our personal relationships. It leads to feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth. They make us sick physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Limiting beliefs tell us that there is only one right way to live. They are the beliefs that tell us we are “right”. If your beliefs lead you to hate others who take an opposing view, you can be certain these are limiting beliefs. They keep you from experiencing happiness. Limiting beliefs prevent you from giving, receiving, and experiencing love. Limiting beliefs are the ones that tell us there is something wrong with the way other people live.

The irony of limiting beliefs is that they make us self-consciousness. We point the finger at others, while at the same time worrying what they might be thinking about us. Deep down inside we fear being labeled “different”. We want to be socially accepted by our peers. We don’t want to be branded an outsider or outcast.

If we could only understand that reality is like two sides of the same coin. Then we would understand the concept of “separate but equal.” We are spiritually connected to one another. We all originate from the same source. One person is no more valuable than another in the spirit world. I can assure you that John F. Kennedy Jr.’s spirit has no more value than a beggar’s spirit to the other souls that inhabit the other side. The status and popularity a person achieves in this life has no meaning in the after-world.

Beliefs are illusory. The labels we give to ourselves and each other have no real meaning or value. These beliefs do not define us. We have invented far too many damaging labels. To counter this trend some groups have succeeded in passing anti-discrimination laws to protect our most vulnerable populations:

Religious choice Gender Sexual preference Political affiliation Disability (physical, mental, and emotional) Ethnic background Race Age Marital status And so much more

Discrimination is a form of hatred. It alienates people. It hurts the people we discriminate against. It hurts us, as well. This hatred is destroying society. We have bought into the false belief that there is one correct way to live. Unfortunately, we always seem to find something wrong with the way other people live. We also see these perceived faults in ourselves. It is our limiting beliefs that cause us perceive life this way. It is our all-too-important beliefs that are keeping us from experiencing genuine relationships. It stops us from allowing others to be themselves. In truth, we fear that ourselves are not okay. We believe that something is wrong with us because we see flaws in other people. This needs to stop.

I refuse to accept that humanity is fundamentally flawed. I am no longer going to perpetuate this paradigm. It’s my theory that the meaning of life has do with learning and improving our character. I like the thought that we are all a work in progress. That does not mean that there is anything inherently wrong with any one of us.

Don’t get me wrong. I am condoning bad behavior. I am a supporter of the Golden Rule. This means that we should strive treat others the way we wish to be treated. Most people like to be treated with respect and dignity. I can’t think of too many people who truly enjoy being exploited and abused; even if they say otherwise. This is only their guilt and shame talking.

Ideally we should accept people with unconditional love. Stop putting labels on people. We should not attempt to force our personal beliefs on others. Stop thinking that other people must live as you live and think as you think. This is wrong. It will ruin all of your personal relationships. Until we allow other people to have their beliefs and be themselves, we will continue to live in fear of being judged by them. How does it feel to live in fear? Not too good I’ll bet. There is an easy way out. Just stop the lies.

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